I've been debating over the past two months if I should give it all up: my
column, my programming, all activities not related to my bread-and-butter
career of journalism. As many of you with adult responsibilities know, it is
difficult to juggle career, family, friends and game development while
keeping your sanity.
My thoughts intensified as I watched at least one major arcade emulation
developer retire without any warning (at least not any warning that I could
see). Our fellow programmers in emulation share the same burden and the same
joys as we do: possibly days of our lives spent working hard on a project
that is laughed at, criticized or, worst, ignored. When we are just on the
brink of giving up, however, an email from a stranger tells us that we
changed his or her life; that we showed them what can be done by one or two
novices; that we moved them.
That email doesn't always come, though. And that email, if it does come, may
not be enough. This is where our commitment to the craft really comes to the
surface.
It is hard to do something for free. Anyone with common sense wouldn't be
pining away like we do. However, because we aren't paid, love of the craft
and admiration of the people are the only reasons to do it. How many other
people can claim that?
I send my best wishes to those who retired and those about to retire. They
are tired, like many others working hard on their freeware projects, and
want to focus on other important areas of their life. If you haven't been on
a date in a year or haven't taken a shower since last millennium, by all
means take a break. Live your life.
However, giving up our trade permanently will not always balance our lives.
There is a reason each and every one of us is involved with game development
- a certain personal need is being fulfilled - and that need will be
unfulfilled if we give up our love.
As I've stressed in other columns, it is good to put away the code, to take
a breather. To stop. In the process of going through a difficult time,
though, it is important not to think that things will always be how they
currently are.
Like life, independent game development will be terribly hard sometimes.
Then, in an instant, it can become as personally rich as falling in love.
That is the way it always is. That is the way it will always be.
If you are able to weather that cycle, like some of you reading this column
have, you are one step closer to being a great game developer. And perhaps a
great person.
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Written by Damon Brown.